Friday, September 14, 2012

Personal Hygiene and My Magnificent Nose

As with most children, especially those having not had a stable home environment where these things are taught from birth, we continue to struggle with personal hygiene.  I seem to have a crazy sensitive nose and can detect smells from a mile away and have finally found a use for this previously useless talent.  Here are a few things we do:

* sing the alphabet song twice while washing your hands

* hand washing is followed by hand sniffing by mom because for some reason some kids still will turn the water on and stand at the sink while singing the alphabet song twice without actually washing their hands.  Some even get them wet and claim 'look, they are wet!'  nice try, not.

* hand washing is to be done every time you enter the house.  every. time.  and before and after every meal.  I still don't know how they get so, so dirty.  So dirty.

* breath check.  this applies only for BoyOne in the mornings when we are rushed and I don't have time to accompany him into the bathroom and watch him brush his teeth.  All the littles brush in front of mom or dad in the morning or are brushed by us, eliminating the need for us to check their breath.

* parent brushing.  this takes place in the evenings.  each child with the exception of One and BoyOne has their teeth brushed by mom, flossed by mom and then brushed again by mom with prescription fluoride.  see prior post about ridiculous amount of cavities in all children.  One and BoyOne are still required to brush in the presence of mom and dad to be sure it is done correctly.  Often, BoyOne will stand next to mom and mom will 'pretend' to brush her teeth while BoyOne follows the steps she takes.  It has been a year.  Judging by the way things are going, I may need to train his wife.

* armpit sniffing.  this takes place prior to morning prayer with BoyOne.  He is required to lift his shirt so that I may sniff his armpit to use my magnificent smelling ability to detect whether or not he has used soap or deodorant.  Both have different scents and I can sniff and tell if he has used one or the other or both or neither.  Both soap and deodorant he sees absolutely no reason to use at all.  Somehow, he cannot smell himself.  I assume this is partially a boy thing.

* hair sniffing.  takes place after armpit sniffing.  BoyOne, I discovered waaaaay too late, had not been using shampoo.  at all.  ew gross.  Now, I smell his hair and touch it to see if it has been done.  I try to remember to check this as soon as he comes down the stairs, but I usually don't remember until after I check his pits.

* change socks daily.  Some habits die hard.  Really hard.  Like the one where you wear the same socks for weeks on end without changing them and when you finally do they literally stand by themselves and stink up the entire internat.  This is another 'silly American thing.'  Imagine that, we change our socks every day.  Silly us.  We do a sock check.  My poor nose.

5 comments:

  1. ...one day, they will want to be clean. I know it seems impossible...but its true. Tell boyone that girls like clean boys who use soap.

    ReplyDelete
  2. What about putting a small amount of toothpaste on the tongue, swishing it around, and then saying all done with brushing teeth? There are a million and one ways to deceive. My son avoids the sock thing by not wearing socks...which means he can't bring his sandals in the house or he has to tie them up in a bag. Hand washing - we sing happy birthday twice. Showering - we're up to twice a week now, stinky or not. Deodorant - I've told him he has to start wearing it when he turns thirteen, and he'll have to take three showers a week.

    ReplyDelete
  3. My wife is like you. I use scare tactics and scare the crap out of my kids. Like the day I printed I Google searched 'tooth decay', printed our the most horrendous picture I could find, and told them this is their mouth if they refuse to brush every AM and PM. I'm pretty sure some of these tactics will require counseling later in life in order to remove the visual images from their brains, such as the one I printed out about not changing your undies every day...

    ReplyDelete
  4. We were so there. Getting the head wet and then just rubbing some shampoo in the top and pretending he showered. One pair of underwear after a week. Washing one arm with soap so IT smelled good when the bar touched nothing else.
    Much better now. Girls are important but we still have to remind him to brush each morning and now.....wear a retainer. But he's come a long way.
    I did the scare tactic only with HOARDING and it helped a little but he still collects junk and shoves everything in his drawers - including but not limited to candy wrappers and dead batteries. Sigh. Give me strength.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Stephanie, As you have learned in the last year, all boys are stinky. I have one who is even worse in the personal hygiene department than my Ukrainian import. I found a pair of wet socks under his bed just this afternoon. Nasty. I also have one who is totally the opposite. Driving me crazy with four or five showers a day (literally). This laundry is killing me. Can't we have a happy medium? I am exhausted. I swear it is all I can do to keep up with all these freaking boys!

    ReplyDelete