Tuesday

Tuesday started off as a wonderful day. BoyOne got ready for the day and asked to play on the computer. "gammas," as he calls the games he plays.

"Sure, da," I naively answered.

Fast forward to

4 HOURS LATER!!!!!!!!!!

I had asked, repeatedly, and nicely, for him to get off the computer. Seriously. How exciting can a video game be. Good grief. I was ready to throw the stinkin' computer out the dang window. I have never brought video games or the likes into my home for this very reason. Not so I wouldn't throw it through the window, but so I wouldn't be tempted.

Finally, I had to reclaim my title as mother and put my foot down and GET. HIM. OFF.

He was, to put it mildly, TICKED.

He wouldn't so much as even look at me. I had planned on taking all the kids rock climbing this afternoon, however that was not about to happen. I do not reward bad attitude. And, it made me mad too, because I love to climb and so do my kids! It was unfair to them, but it had to be done.

Later that evening he began speaking to me again, but v.e.r.y. sparingly. After dinner he went with Huz over to the church for a youth activity and some basketball. He came home happy as a clam and went right to bed. I've decided that the cure for teenage boy moodiness must be intense physical exertion. Ladies with teenage boys-am I right?! Is this the secret? My word.

Sadly, at this point I am seriously thinking there is no way he would want us for his family. He thinks I am so mean. Pretty sure there were some awesome Ukrainian potty words mixed in there. Maybe this language barrier is a good thing...

So. What do I do? Do I let him have a sweet, kick butt vacation of a life time, because chances are, he'll never have the likes of it again? Do I continue to provide a stable family environment, complete with structure and rules and take the chance that he'll hate me? This is really bugging me. It's reminding me of that old t.v. sitcom with Helen Hunt. She's a public relations specialist but she can't seem to get the new neighbors to like her and it is driving. her. crazy!! She pulls out all the stops and they could care less. That's how I'm feeling right now. (By the way-if anyone can remember the name of that show, please tell me. I can't remember!) I have spent many years as a youth leader and teacher, camp director, school volunteer and I have always been loved by these kids! What is the problem now?! And then, it dawns on me. In those situations, I wasn't worried about getting the kids to like me, I was there to do my job. Then, because I did so, they liked me. The friendship came after the adult role was completed. So, there was my answer. I am who I am. Take me or leave me.

But please, please, please take me....

More of Monday

Oh boy, I am all over the place! I forgot to include our Monday afternoon.

On Mondays I pick up the girls from school and we haul down to Kaysville for dance and gymnastics classes. A couple weeks ago I arranged with our gym's owner to let the boys participate in a gym class if they wanted. In the morning when I first told the boys they were excited and wanted to go right away. However, when we arrived, they changed their minds. The owner of the gym told us we could go use the trampolines if we wanted.

I led the boys across the floor to the tramp. At first they were hesitant to get onto the trampoline so I did what any mom would do: I set my purse down and did a back flip... and almost peed my pants. The boys were then excited. They began thumbs-upping me and started to jump. I stepped to the side when, to my horror, BoyOne launched himself into a back flip.

Holy crap! I had visions of broken necks, law suits, spending the rest of my life in some Ukrainian prison... But, he actually landed it! BoyTwo nailed his front flip. I tried to ask if they had been on a trampoline before via my awesome phone translator and they said no. That could have been lost in translation though. Really, quite amazing.

Also, we brought Chaperone to the gym where his next host family picked him up for a nice, low key (hopefully) vacation! It was great to have him in our home. The boys were sad to see him go and we got a great picture of the three of them.

BoyTwo

While BoyOne and Chaperone were playing billiards, I went outside with BoyTwo. He was riding One's scooter which is not a regular scooter. It's a little bit big for him. He rode down the driveway and then one wheel went off the driveway and into the grass. This made him "wreck." It wasn't a bad wreck, he kind of rolled over and didn't get up. I know that more than anything this little boy was frustrated. He tries so hard to keep up with the big kids. I walked over to him and put my hand on his back and said his name. He turned his cute brown eyes up to me and said, "Mama." Then he reached up for me and wrapped his arms around my neck and put his little head on my shoulder and let me carry him to the steps to comfort him.

The title Mama is not necessarily a term of endearment as all orphans call the women that interact with them Mama. The exciting part of this story is that he reached for me and allowed me to comfort him. During this stay if he has become upset for whatever reason a 6 yr old gets upset, he just tries to be little tough guy. Handling all of his little worries on his own. And this time he shared them! That's a pretty big deal, I think.

It makes me wonder how many times these kids get hurt or scared or don't feel well and they have to just take care of themselves, or keep it to themselves. The orphanages, I'm sure, help with and take care of major illnesses or injuries but what about all the little owies that just require a hug and kiss from mom? I've been praying with them before bed each night. When I tuck them in I say a prayer for them each. I'm hoping that maybe they'll decide to share all these things with God. Then at least they'll know they aren't all alone. Maybe it'll help them feel better to share their feelings and and not have to carry the weight of the world on their little shoulders. Who knows...

but do they want us?

SAC hosted a wonderful activity at the Bean Museum in Provo on Monday. However, due to the less than enthusiastic response we had from our boys for Sunday's outing, we opted not to attend. Their desire to stay home, coupled with the 2 hour drive we would have had to make, made that an easy decision.

We started the day by all of us sleeping in. Ahhh. After we woke up, I took the girlies to school. During the day I tried to help BoyTwo learn to ride a bike. BoyOne and I played ping pong. Actually that's a bit of an exaggeration. We hit the ball back and forth a few times. I am not good. He is. After a while he told me he was going to play with Chaperone. We also played pool. Billiards as they call them. It makes it sound so fancy.

While Chaperone and BoyOne were playing pool, I asked how BoyOne had learned all these games. I knew it wasn't from orphanage life. Chaperone and he had a conversation and then Chaperone clued me in after. BoyOne had a family until about 4 years ago. This I already knew but it made me sad to hear him talk about it. I found out about his mother and father and how he ended up in the orphanage.

Later that night I found a game on the computer for BoyOne to play. Then, Huz, BoyOne, and I played a Dominoes game. It was a good time.

In the beginning, when we first decided to host, I knew that in Ukraine the children got to decide if they wanted to be adopted. The decision is theirs. This is fair. I had even thought to myself that it wouldn't be surprising for some of these kids to not want to be adopted. I mean, think about it. They have friends that have become their family, they don't have anyone looking after them. In some cases their mother or father are still living and they may hope someday for a reconciliation. Most of the kids probably realize that life here would be better, but life here would also be very different. That's probably scary. The answer seems obvious to us, but what seems obvious to a teenager. And half the time whatever they think is so obvious is not quite right. You know?

So, after only two days with these sweet boys I am now wondering if they want us. We are a house full of primarily girls. I, like most moms, have expectations, rules and requirements for living at my home. We understand that rules provide for freedom and opportunity, but most teenagers don't. Not even the ones born and raised in a good family in the US. I heard Chaperone yesterday trying to explain to BoyOne about this. He told him that if there were no rules, the world would be broken. How do you convince someone of that? It reminds me of trying to explain to someone that the standards our church has set for its members aren't suffocating at all, but freeing. You either believe it or you don't. Sigh. For a couple hours I felt like I needed to try to sell myself. Try to get these boys to really love us and our lifestyle so that they would want to be with our family. Then I realized that all I can do is offer what we are. The rest is up to them. If it's meant to be, everything will fall into place. If not, we are better from having them in our lives and hopefully they will remember that someone cares about them. Even though we're really far away. I hope that in this short time with them I can help them understand that they are great. They can achieve great things. There are possibilities. There is hope. There are good people in the world who do good things. Not all families are the same. Family is good. And above all, life is good.

wild animals

So, our new house is in a place in Utah that is in the mountains. It is beautiful and appropriately named. We frequently see wild animals (both inside and out-inside being our kids). I've decided to keep a list of all the different animals we have seen:

deer

elk

rabbit (not ours)

skunk

porcupine (that met Lady, the dog-only one quill though. phew.)

bobcat

fox

and....

penguin.

The penguin was discovered by Three. One morning while eating breakfast she began shrieking,

"MOM!! LOOK!! A PENGUIN!!"

It was a magpie. There was no convincing her though. Apparently if you are black and white that qualifies you as a penguin.

In past years while we vacationed here we would also see moose. Neighbors have reported seeing a mountain lion. If that happens, we may never go outside again.

trick or treat

Sunday afternoon, after lunch and before the tennis court incident, BoyTwo went down into our basement and found the baskets we use to collect candy when we go trick or treating.

I taught him to say "Trick or Treat!"

It was so cute.

Then he grabbed his mask and ran out the front door. I ran after him and corralled him before he got to the neighbor's house. I had to carry him back to the house, kicking and screaming, and hold onto him while I typed a message to his brother to read to him.

BoyOne began to laugh when he realized what was happening, as did One and Two. I was already laughing. BoyOne rattled off in Ukrainian an explanation as to why BoyTwo could not trick or treat just yet.

"Uh-din, Doo-vah, Tre, Chi-tearee, Peeaht, Shest," he counted.

BoyTwo huffily began to sulk away as he appeared to understand. At the stairs however, instead of turning up he raced toward the front door again and it was a mad dash to catch him. We spent the next ten minutes blocking the doors, laughing the whole time. Very awesome One took the candy she had received from our ward trunk or treat the week before and organized an in-house trick or treat that seemed to appease BoyTwo.

It reminded me of when One was almost three. She found the trick or treat baskets in the basement and tried to go to the neighbor's house for candy. It's one of those things that most kids probably try, due to the fact they don't understand the concept of waiting for a particular holiday. It reminded me that these boys, while 13 and 6, are very much like a toddler sometimes even a baby. They haven't had the blessing of a family who has taught them from the time they are old enough to grab a fistful of hair (4 months) things like "be soft," "don't hit," "share," "help," and so on.

We gave BoyTwo some matchbox cars to play with the first night. He has picked his favorite 3 and will hide them on his person during the day and sleep on top of them at night. This is a method of survival-behavior learned from the orphanage. When there are so many kids around who want to play with the same toys and wear the same clothes, these kids have to keep ahold of things, hiding them usually, to ensure being able to play with or wear the thing the next day.

As I watch BoyTwo hide his silly bands in the couch cushions before taking a bath, I wish that I could make him understand that he doesn't need to hide things here. He doesn't need to worry about his things being taken. And then I wish I could just buy the whole orphanage their own silly bands. Seriously, they're so cheap.

I wish we could just bandage the whole world, wipe away the tears, make everything better. Imagine how hard it must be for God to watch all of this. I used to wonder where He was-how He could let these things happen. How He could exercise enough self control to allow us as a human race to wallow in our own self-induced misery. Then, while I was truly praying about this one night, 5 years ago, I got the answer. I had been researching an organization called Bridge of Love (look it up-it is awesome) that helps orphaned children in Romania. I was researching Romania and their orphan situation while I was holding my brand new baby. In a warm house with tons of food and blankets looking at pictures of other babies half a world away who would never be held, touched, loved, comforted, full, warm enough. I asked why He didn't intervene-where was He???? Please, could He help them?! And He answered this:

"I am here. I hold them. I comfort them. I touch them, love them, and keep them full enough to survive just one more day. And then I do it again. It is my chest they lay their head on at night. It is my spirit that preserves their peace. I hold them every day of their life. What no one else does, I have always done. Where no one else is, I have always been."

Introductions

This is a great story. I can't believe that I left it out.

So, at the airport, after a little while of families and children getting acquainted, this lady walks up to me and says with a Russian accent, "Are you his family?" and points to BoyTwo.

"Yes," I reply smiling.

And she says to me, dead serious, "He is naughty. Very, very naughty. Keep your eye on him."

And that is how I met Masha, one of the facilitators for the trip.

toilet

ummm....

so do all of my friends that have young boys clean the toilet like 4 times a day?!

seriously, how hard is it to point it into the great big hole?!

So...

So... Sunday was not the best day. It wasn't horrible or anything and it actually was about what I had expected with reading about other's experiences. A lot of the problem I believe was due to the language barrier and tiredness.

We had a mandatory meeting that we were supposed to be at Sunday night with the boys, chaperone, and our whole family. The meeting was doubling as an ice-cream social. I also need to add that I, too, received hugs from the boys the first morning, it was just more exciting that huz did too.

After the whole church incident we came home and had a lovely lunch which was enjoyed by all. We gave Chaperone some American medicine, American "sick" tea (what I call tea that we drink when we are sick), and an herbal pack for his face. Then we put him to bed where he stayed the rest of the day. Hopefully all the magic was helping and didn't just make him pass out.

The meeting was to start at 6 which meant we would need to leave by 5. At 4:30 I began to get everyone ready. When it was time to start getting kids in the car and start the whole "go pee before we get into the car" routine, BoyOne said he didn't want to go.

OK. Just realizing that I have to back up a bit. After lunch, Chaperone, Three, Four, and Huz all took naps. One, Two, and BoyOne decided to go on a bike ride in the rain. (it was light rain. and they promised to come home if the rain got heavier) As I was cleaning up, wishing I was napping, I had a feeling to go check on them. I grabbed my keys, ran out to the car and was just leaving when Two ran up the driveway.

"MOM!! ONE is stuck inside the tennis courts!"

The tennis courts are sometimes locked so One will climb over and open the door from the inside. Apparently this time the lock had been jammed and the door wouldn't open. Then it began to rain really hard. So, Two jumps in the car with me and BoyTwo and we jet down the hill. The whole time I'm thinking, just climb back over the fence.... Anyhow, we get there, I hike down the hill, in my church clothes, in the MUD and tell One to climb back over the fence. She says, "I don't want to." Hello. Then stay there and get wet. Natural consequences. Love it!! So I start hauling the bikes up the hill back to the car along with the umbrellas and tennis rackets. One finally decides to climb back over the fence and we all make it home. And we are each soaking wet. This is no exaggeration. I make everyone change into dry clothes and put all the wet, muddy stuff in the wash.

Now, back to where we were.

I am about done putting up with this crap for the day. Any of you that know me know that I am fairly laid back when it comes to housekeeping things. I don't even care if the kids jump on the furniture or roller blade or scooter inside the house. I always wanted to and sometimes did that stuff when I was a kid so it really doesn't bother me. However, I don't put up with any crap. When One was almost 3, she wouldn't put her toys away. I told her to pick up now or I'd throw them all away. She did not comply, away went all the toys. Ever since then I've learned that it is best to just follow through AND to not be quite so hasty in threats that I make...

I walk over to BoyOne, pull him off the couch and hand him his shoes and in Russian say "NOW." By the way, Russian is great when you mean business. It always sounds so harsh anyhow. He appears very frustrated and puts his shoes on. I think, "ha! Go me!"

Only I was wrong. Just because he put his shoes on didn't mean jack. At this point all of my biological daughters are in the car, they know the drill and even huz is out there waiting to go.

45 MINUTES later, Chaperone comes out of his room and again tries to reason with BoyOne. Chaperone at this point is not going to the meeting because he is too sick. He tells me that the boys are tired of driving down to SLC and just want to stay home. And honestly, I completely understand. Then, he tells me that BoyOne doesn't like the pants that I gave him to wear, he only wants to wear his jeans that are now in the dryer (from the earlier tennis court experience). And now I am totally annoyed. This is not a fashion show. He lives in a stinking orphanage! And he seriously cares that much about how he looks?!? I am starting to remember my brother being like this in his teen years. And now, I just want to stay home too. However, as a host family part of my responsibility is to be to certain meetings and this is one of them.

In desperation I call my awesome team captain. She advises to just bag it due to the time frame. She has hosted in the past and really understands the difficult balance you are trying to achieve of allowing these kids to have a once in a lifetime sweet vacation, while still trying to parent and allow them to catch a glimpse of what family life is like.

I tell huz to come inside and we decide to bag it. Then we bring in our kids who are all sobbing because they really wanted to go to the ice-cream social. Apparently this gets to the boys and while I'm using the bathroom evaluating the situation, they get into the car and in their broken English say to huz, "let's go."

Exasperating? Yeah. So then we decide to go to the meeting anyways because there were several business items that were supposed to be taken care of AND because huz's car was still at his parents house and we had to drive down to pick in up. (different story) Plus, we thought it would be nice to give our poor Chaperone some quiet time. Six kids are pretty loud...

I get into the car and as we begin to drive away, BoyOne from the back seat says,

"Sorry, Mama."

The First Hug...

And the first hug goes to....

HUZ!!!

from BoyOne!!!

I'm actually most excited to report that it was not me getting the first hug. Not because I didn't want it but because I had heard from other parents that sometimes these kids have a hard time accepting, bonding, acknowledging the father of the family. This is because many of them either haven't had a father, have had a bad experience with a father, and all are currently in an orphanage surrounded by women caretakers and they do not know what to think of a man. Glad this is not appearing to be an issue at the moment. Another bonus is that this hug was received the first morning!!! (insert Holbrook family cheer of "oh yeah, uh-huh, oh yeah, uh-huh)

Well, we left off Saturday night, really Sunday morning, with me on the short couch and BoyTwo in my spot on the hide-a-bed with the cat. So cute. Did you feel the warm fuzzies? Good.

Because shortly thereafter they were gone.

Sunday morning we got up and began to get everyone ready. Two and Huz left earlier than the rest of us because Huz had to teach and Two had to pray in church. We have 9 a.m. church. For a Holbrook this is a true test of faith. It doesn't matter when we go to bed, we just do NOT like to wake up. I readied the other girls and took them to church and then returned to get the boys ready. Now, I'm not smokin' crack or anything like that. I wasn't going to torture them through all of church. Just sacrament meeting. And this was because it was the primary program and the girls were all in it. Who doesn't like to listen to a bunch of kids sing/yell?! It's my favorite time of year!!

So I told the boys it was time to get ready for church. BoyOne said, "No, Mama." Why oh why is a child's first word ALWAYS no????????????

But he just seemed complain-y about it. And then I showed him his church clothes.

And then the s*^# hit the fan.

I guess it wasn't that terrible but I think I was more shocked than anything at the reaction. He started Nyet, Nyet-ing me (nyet is no in russian) And then he just went off and it was like in the original Parent Trap where the dad tells Susan that he's getting remarried and she flips out and starts yelling at him in French and he's like "what the...?" Well, that was me.

Thank heavens for the Chaperone who was staying with us. He still wasn't feeling well but came out of his room, ready for church and attempted to reason with the boys. Now, BoyTwo was simply copying BoyOne. He didn't know what he was supposed to be upset about. After lots and lots of back and forth in Russian, Chaperone tells me that BoyOne doesn't like the clothes. They are not stylish.

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!

I told chaperone to tell BoyOne to stop being so vain and that we were going to worship God, not to a fashion show. And, all the boys dress like that.

And I don't think that went over so well. Hmmm. More back and forth in Russian. At this point we are inching closer and closer to the time when we really NEED to be to church in order to see this program and my patience were wearing thin. This has now been going on for an hour, mind you. So I try to be mature about this and decide that I don't really care so much what he wears as I do about getting to church. I tell him fine, wear your pants....and I'm also thinking that he'll see that I was right when we get to church and everyone else is dressed nicely. He finally puts on his jeans and a sweater and with a scowl on his face gets in the car. Poor chaperone. I can't imagine being the go between for a stubborn orphan boy and an even more stubborn mother. I had even suggested that Chaperone skip church because he was not feeling well and he said, "No, I wish to go." So nice. And then he told me this:

"In Ukraine the television ads, propaganda, people there, they believe that other religions are bad. They teach them that christians sacrifice little children and EAT them!!"

Serious? SERIOUS?

As if it isn't enough to throw these kids in an orphanage without a decent shot at life, they teach them to not believe in God or Christ. My word. What are they thinking?!

Church ended up being just fine. The boys even liked when our girls had their parts and they pointed to them. Not to mention all the waving and sign language "I love yous" that were going on from the stand.

After church we returned home and I made our family favorite-french toast made with cinnamon burst bread from the Village Baker in West Jordan. Yep. I drive all the way out there for this bread. Best ever.

And, drumroll please, everybody liked it.

Phew.

Kind of Tired

When we arrived home that first night it was about 1:30 a.m. For the Ukrainians that is 10:30 a.m. So they weren't very tired. And even though we should have been, we weren't. Poor Chaperone wasn't feeling well at all so he went to bed first. I can't imagine being in a foreign country and not feeling well. You know how you just want your own bed and your own stuff? One, Two, Huz, and BoyTwo all went to bed at about 3 a.m. BoyOne and I stayed up until 5 a.m. I could've crashed before then but I wasn't about to leave BoyOne on his own, it being his first night here and all.

What did we do? Well, you name it, we probably did it. We toured the house, the yard, met the pets, played pool, danced, ate, laughed and tried to talk. AND don't forget the much needed bath!!! While they were bathing I stole their clothes and threw them into the wash.

Wouldn't you know, the next morning Three and Four who had not come to the airport were up at eight ready to meet the boys! Groan. I wouldn't let them wake them up until 10. We were advised that they may stay up late but not to let them sleep in too long so that they could begin to get acclimated to the time change.

Two had a soccer game. While she was at that, I got everyone ready for the day, fed them and packed us up for a swimming activity planned by SAC. We had SO MUCH FUN!! The boys were wild! Just like our girls. Huz and I kind of split the group up. He kept track of whomever he was holding (usually Four) and I chased after the other FIVE.

Once again, we were super impressed with the way BoyOne took care of BoyTwo. These guys aren't afraid to try anything. If they think it up, they do it. They don't have a parent warning them to be careful or to not do something because it is dangerous. That being said, as 6 year-old BoyTwo launched himself off the side of the shallow end of the pool to attempt a back flip!! we tried to catch him mid-air. No luck. He back flopped into the water. OW! btw-a back flop is like a belly flop, only on the back. But, BoyTwo didn't skip a beat. All smiles, he just kept going! One, Two, BoyOne, and BoyTwo formed a human chain and went down the slide together.

Afterwards, we ended up staying at the rec center playing basketball for a while. Lots of fun. We finally started for home and about SLC we decided we were pretty hungry. The Ukrainians wanted "fried potatoes and coca-cola." haha. We took them to Crown Burger. Daring of us to go to such a nice restaurant, I know. My sister and her husband met us there. I failed to mention that the afternoon that we were supposed to pick up the boys this same sister called me and offered to meet us at the airport to take pictures of the arrival so that I could be in the pictures! Isn't that so thoughtful?!

On the drive home the two boys fell asleep leaning on each others shoulders. I have that picture on my phone. It just might be my favorite so far. Once home, BoyTwo stayed asleep and our daughters were asleep shortly after that. Sweet! I thought. Bed time. Just as I was tucking myself in for a long winters nap, who should appear but... BoyTwo. Wow. He is stinkin cute! We played for a while, then I tried to get him back to sleep by tickling his face (this worked the night before). He faked asleep. I could tell he wasn't asleep but thought that maybe he wanted me to leave him alone and couldn't tell me, so I left. Went downstairs to do some laundry. When I came out of the laundry room BoyTwo was sitting at the bottom of the stairs. I picked up the cat, Onyx, (feel like I can share that name) and sat down next to him. He sat there petting the cat and jabbering away as if we were old friends and I could understand him. I wished I could. Then I made a little bed for him on the short couch, as we call it, and was about to lay down on the hide a bed next to huz. Then I saw the cat laying in my spot and I knew how much BoyTwo wanted to hold that cat. So at about 4 a.m. I tucked him in next to huz with Onyx in his arms and I took the short couch. That was another cute picture. BoyTwo and Onyx, not me on the short couch...

Getting Them Here

So, part of the preparations included moving all four of our daughters into one bedroom. Not really a big deal. They were pretty excited about it and I must say, it’s fun to see them all in there together asleep at night. Or giggling together, which is more accurate. Or fighting, which is probably even more accurate. Shocker, I know. I cleaned out the closet and the dressers so that the boys could use them. I even had two old green comforters from when Iwas a teenager that I put on the beds to make the room look more boyish. (see, huz, I knew I would need them some day)

One of the families that is also hosting two boys has eight children of their own already. No, that’s no typo. They are super awesome. Anyhow. She gave me clothes that her boys had outgrown and then I bought a few other things for them (go Target!!) like socks, underwear, toothbrushes, combs, soap, shampoo, deodorant.

And then I tried not to get too excited. I did not want to think about it all the time in case this experience was a total bust. I did a ton of reading (blog stalking) and have found out all that I could about international adoption in Ukraine, the process before AND after.

I didn’t even start to freak out until the night they were to arrive at 10:30 and it was 8 p.m. and I hadn’t showered yet. sigh. I shouldn’t have worried about the shower. My two days without was nothing compared to their week without plus plane travel!

I hired the one of the best babysitters in Eden, again not naming names due to paranoia. She helped me finish cleaning, took care of my kids and even made a welcome sign in Russian to hang in my house. She really rocks. Call me for her phone number.

At the airport we hung out at the back of the group waiting for our team leader. SAC is pretty good at this airport thing. They’ve done it enough that it’s down to a science. The hosting families are broken into 4 groups this year. We are in the blue group. Our leader is the best. Everyone in the blue group is hosting kids from the same orphanage. Smart. Most of these kids in our group will know each other. Comfort for them.

Blue group leader shows up with a bunch of blue balloons. Every host family is given one balloon for every orphan they are hosting, which means we get two. Then we sit around and wait for a while. Later on, I saw myself on the news. I looked pregnant. For those of you who saw the news, no I am not expecting but I probably won't ever wear that shirt again. Anyhow, they bring the first group down and everyone is cheering and happy and then One says, “I see BoyOne!!!” And we are not toward the front at all but everybody sees that we are a blue balloon family and pushes us up front. (this is starting to sound like a dr. seuss book) I see the lady from the foundation looking for us and I get her attention and she brings the boys over. Oh. My. Heck. They are the cutest boys I’ve ever seen. And that’s when they were dirty!! I kneel down and in Russian (I am so proud of myself, thanks to my awesome neighbor who taught me!!) introduce myself and my family. Oh yeah- we only brought One and Two. I've flown with my four kids often enough that I know little kids are usually train wrecks after hour five. And these kids are going on hour 24. In a different country. And lots of them had been airsick. I didn’t want to have to deal with too many emotional wrecks (Three-I'll have to delete that when she is old enough to read). It worked out really well. We stepped back out of the way after someone fluent in Russian talked to the boys for about 30 seconds. BoyTwo was smiling. BoyOne wouldn’t make eye contact. Which was fine. I’m pretty sure we all seemed a little nutso, jabbering in our native tongue, holding balloons and smiling and staring like we were at the zoo or something. And that’s when BoyOne looked at me and introduced me to his friend. Pretty awesome. Then huz pulled out the iphone and we were instant rock stars. Man I love that guy. He’s brilliant. And SAC is also brilliant. That balloon thing was a HUGE hit for BoyTwo. And since the game he was playing involved letting go of the balloons (somehow we ended up with four) and letting them float to the ceiling, BoyOne and his friends would all jump! and try to get them down for him just so he could do it over and over and over. This game sounding familiar to all the parents our there? We were also lucky enough to have one of the four chaperones stay with us in our home for three days. He spoke English pretty well and acted as a translator for us. He also didn’t feel well, poor guy.

As we were getting ready to leave the airport, BoyTwo got a bloody nose (doesn't take long for that dry Utah air to kick in). It took a while to stop, and then we had to clean him up. Then Two had to go to the bathroom. Then One decided to go too. Then BoyTwo needed to go. And then we ran into someone huz knows and THEN we left the airport.

Because I swore I would never own a vehicle with a tv in it, I do. We watched Tom and Jerry all the way home. I hate cartoons. This is a great one though, because they hardly ever speak in the cartoon. It was so fun to hear their little giggles. I guess cartoons are international.

Because I have flown so many times with my kids to see my parents, I have learned a great trick from my mom. She always brings bottled waters and fruit with her to the airport because she knows that we’ll need it. So, I copied her and was well equipped with bananas (a Ukrainian favorite) and bottled water. And guess what, we needed it!!

Bananas were gone that night.

It was so fun to see their beautiful faces. They are truly wonderful children. I was so impressed and even moved to see how caring BoyOne was toward BoyTwo. We had been warned that they may not know each other very well. You see, in an orphanage it doesn’t matter if you have a sibling or not. You are simply placed and kept with members of the same sex that are your age. As the boys had been in the orphanage for about four years, that meant that the younger one was only two when they went there, which probably meant they didn’t know each other. wrong! really, seeing BoyOne be so motherly to BoyTwo was probably one of the sweetest things I’ll ever witness. Thanks for that tender mercy.

Really?

So, I'm just wondering if maybe the orphanage director wanted to send her own children on a really sweet vacation and snuck in the two kids I'm hosting. I do realize that we're in what could be referred to as the "honeymoon" period. And honestly, what can go wrong in a day and a half?

BoyOne is SO smart. And seriously the best big brother I could imagine. As I had mentioned before, although the boys are biological brothers, they are kept in separate quarters because of their age difference. Sad, I know. Every parent's nightmare to have their children split up if something were to happen to them. But hey, they see each other sometimes in the play yard.

BoyOne can speak, read, and write Russian and Ukrainian. And, he has been studying English at the orphanage. He can count, he knows the alphabet and can read-just doesn't know what he is saying. The kid is the best 13 year old ping pong player we've ever seen. He can play pool, billiards as he calls it, basketball, football and is, according to our 13 year old neighbor boy "professional" at soccer. He is a little bit of a girl when it comes to his looks. I thought boys would just grab whatever was laying on the floor and put it on and be done with it. Not this guy. He's politely picky about the clothes that we have for him which means he is fine with wearing the same outfit the entire time he is here-which is probably what he does in the orphanage. Don't worry, I'm the mom and I made him change. He even rolled his eyes which I love. I was/am an eye roller and always got in trouble for it, so I love to see it now. I think I roll my eyes about 100 times a day...

Anyway, you can see why I'm thinking maybe they were snuck into the trip.

But then BoyOne told me that he had been with a family until four years ago. That's why he knows so many things. I want to ask a million questions. But I don't. Not just because of the language barrier, but out of respect for this 13 year olds life. A life that has had as many things happen in it as some that are aged.

Hosting

About 8 years ago I heard about a woman who adopted a little girl from Ukraine. She already had 7 children of her own. Her youngest was 5 and they adopted a 7 year old. I thought that was really cool. After all, I love to hear about adoption.

I read about international adoptions. Wow! Complicated.

Then I had Two. She was such a cute baby.

Then this family adopted another girl from Ukraine. She was the first adopted daughters half sister. She was 11. They saw how rarely older children were adopted. They felt so sad that they decided to do something about it. They started a foundation called Save a Child. I read about it and heard about it on the news. They would bring older orphaned Ukrainian children to the United States for a 2-3 week visit. They would plan awesome activities and find really great families to host these children. They were hoping that the families would fall in love with the children and the program and help these children find a permanent home before they turned 16 and were displaced by the orphanage to live on their own without enough essential life skills to have a successful adulthood. That's right folks. 16. When most of us get our drivers license and go on our first date, these kids are trying to figure out where they are going to sleep and what they are going to eat and what they are going to wear when they wash their clothes who-knows- where because the only clothes they have are the ones on their back. Luckily the government is changing slightly and the age is being moved up to 17 in some regions.

Then I wanted to find out more. So I read A LOT. And it made me cry. A LOT.

Then I had Three and Four and life was pretty crazy. Like shower once a week crazy. You know.

Then, Four turned 2 and there was this little glowing light at the end of the tunnel! When she was 2 1/2, I emailed Save a Child foundation and asked for more information on being a host family. And didn't hear anything for almost a year...

And then at the end of July while I was at Lagoon with my kids and a friend for each of them I got a phone call. Right as I was getting onto Tilt a Whirl. My favorite! The lady on the phone said she was with Save a Child (hereafter referred to as SAC) and was I still interested in hosting. I said, "I'm getting on a ride at Lagoon. I'll call you right back." And I did. And she didn't answer. Then she called me back while I was on another ride. And finally, we got ahold of each other. Phew. She told me what I needed to know. I relayed the info to huz (my husband) and told the SAC lady, "Yes!! We want to host."

The next morning I went to meet with the lady that started the foundation. She interviewed me and looked over our family profile and went into her office (kitchen) and called to me, "I think I found them."

By the way, I pray all the time to find these missing kids. And as soon as I got off the phone with SAC at Lagoon, I started praying that they would with us the kids that needed to be with us. Whether for us to adopt or someone else. Or whatever the reason. Just to find the right kids for this time.

And she brought in a picture of BoyOne and BoyTwo.

And then we worked like mad to get our paperwork done and our home study completed and decided to move and did so in 3 weeks and laid sod on the day the social worker came to interview us.

Over the next month and a half we went to 3 meetings.

On October 22, 2010, we drove to the airport and waited with One and Two for the kids to be escorted down the elevator. One saw them first. When they got us all together, we huddled with a translator-but I didn't need one because I took a crash course in Russian the night before...

"Menya zovoot Stephanie."

They understood me!

They were tired, scared and stinky.

And then huz saved the day by pulling out his i-phone and showed them some games.

Instant friends. Gotta love technology.

Adoption

I am adopted.

I have always known that I was adopted. I think it's wonderful. I've always planned on adopting children of my own.

I believe that we all existed before we came to this earth and I sort of picture myself talking with God before I was born and he's telling me that I'm going to be born by a wonderful young woman but that she isn't married and she really loves me, but she's going to find a family where there's a mom and a dad to take care of me, I'll be adopted.

I say, "Great!"

Then he says, "But there's more. Your plan involves adoption for more reasons than just you being adopted and getting to the right family. As you grow up different people will have different questions and thoughts about adoption. Sometimes, even misgivings."

At this I say, "Really? That's too bad."

He says, "Yes, I know. Anyhow, that's part 2 of your plan. You need to try really hard to grow up happy and well adjusted so that people will see that adopted children are great too. (hopefully I haven't botched that part...) You'll need to share your story. Tell how glad you are to have a mom and a dad. Tell how your adoptive parents are your mom and dad. After all, anyone can procreate and it takes a whole lot more than that to be a parent. Sometimes, as you grow older, you may even hear children say negative things to other children who have been adopted."

I say, "That's terrible! Why would they say those things?"

"Calm down, they're misinformed. Usually by well meaning adults," He answers. "I'll need you to share with them your story."

"Easy enough," I reply.

"And part 3. Some of the children that are intended to be yours will be born by other women, maybe even raised by other families for a time. You will need to find them. After all, they are meant to be with you and are already part of your family. That's a big reason for you being adopted. So that you won't forget about those other children."

"Sweet," I say.

He gives me a blessing and off I go.