You'll Shoot Your Eye Out-or Worse!!

It's never a good idea to get behind in journaling. It's too hard to catch up.

Sunday we went to church. It was okay. I was in a foul mood. It was a day of fasting for us. In our church, the first Sunday of every month is dedicated to fasting and prayer. We discuss what we may want to fast and pray for in the days prior to fasting so that we have in our minds and hearts what our purpose is. We then donate the money we would have spent on food that day to our church's welfare program. We didn't fast on the first Sunday of January as it was a holiday and instead opted to fast this past Sunday. We do not force our children to fast. We do, however, strongly encourage it through sharing our own personal experiences with fasting and also by offering boring, bland food to those who are not fasting. Not as a punishment, but as their way of participating in the fast when they are unable (too young) or unwilling to do so. This way, I don't have to prepare any food. One and Two fast with us. Three will occasionally skip one meal for her fast. This month I was encouraging BoyOne to join us. He agreed and had a fabulous and motivating purpose of prayer.

But then, because he's never had to go without food (???), he couldn't even make it to noon and ate. I was bugged because of how it all went down. I won't go into details, but it was how it happened rather than the fact that it happened that bothered me.

At church, BoyTwo was his usual self. Loud. Obnoxious. Disrespectful. He asked if he could get a tattoo. He was serious. Most of the time when he is like this (which is pretty much always), I just deal with him and it's no sweat off my back, but this day, I was already in a foul mood and it became personal that he just couldn't be normal. I hear over and over that his behavior is typical of a hyperactive kindergartner which would be fine if he wasn't almost EIGHT!!!! Pull yourself together buddy for FIVE MINUTES!!! I had to take him out of class twice and out of the last meeting we have which is called sacrament meeting. And he sits on my lap during the last meeting because he is crazy!!!!

I will say that I had a little revelation during the Christmas break with BoyTwo. I was watching him eat, it's hard not to because it's such a disturbing thing to see, and I noticed that his eyes were wild. Crazed. I pulled him aside after he was finished eating and had his brother come over and translate for me. There are times, not very many, when I want to make sure that something is translated word for word. During these times I type what I want to say onto the online translator, copy and paste the translation onto a second translator to get it back to English so I can see that it really translated correctly and then have BoyOne read it, verbatim, to BoyTwo. What we discovered was that BoyTwo is still afraid that he will be hungry. He doesn't understand that he is here to stay. No matter what we said, no matter how much food we showed him, no matter what, the kid just doesn't understand. At first BoyOne thought I was ridiculous for asking BoyTwo about this and he scoffed at me. He was shocked to find out his brother had no concept of the idea that there is food in the refrigerator, in the pantry, at the grocery store, that they are living here. I believe that this is part of our troubles with BoyTwo. fyi, we do not withhold food from our children, nor do we use it as punishment or incentive. Just to be clear.

After church, we went to my sister's house. We celebrated her birthday, her husband's birthday, and my other sister's birthday:) Good times! My brother-in-law is an avid hunter. Avid. BoyTwo and BoyOne were mesmerized by all the antlers and trophy heads he has. My brother-in-law offered to show the kids how to shoot a bow and arrow. BoyTwo was the only one to take him up on the offer. It was really cold outside. Fast forward. BoyTwo really had fun. He wants to live with my sister and brother-in-law now. haha. The disturbing part of this for me was when he asked for a gun and a bow and arrow and Huz said, 'maybe for your birthday.'

WHAT?!????!!!!!

The kid can't even handle a freaking nerf gun!! We are sure as hell not giving him a firearm or any other sort of weapon! Huz wanted me to just go along with it, just to appease BoyTwo. This is where we differ often. I don't go along with what my kids want or want to do and then flake out later, or worse, follow through, just to appease them. Example. One wants an ipod touch. I told her I would not buy her one. I told her why. I also told her she could save up her own money for that purchase if she chose. I'm not going to say, 'maybe,' and not mean it! I would say maybe if I was considering it, but if I know from the get go that it is not going to happen, I let them know. So Huz and I had a little disagreement about BoyTwo being ready for a bow and arrow. BoyTwo asked when he could have a gun. I told him when he has his own house he can have a gun. Huz thought that was extreme. I told him that I did not want guns in our home. To each his own. This is weird because we don't even own a gun currently. I grew up around guns. My dad was an avid hunter. When in the right hands, guns are not a problem. I was shocked to find out that Huz was suddenly an advocate for gun ownership. He doesn't even hunt! Whatever. BoyTwo proceeded to tell us how he was going to KILL A PERSON with his gun. I told him he would be sent to prison, that this is not good in America (sometimes these things that are obvious to us are not obvious to them). He laughed and said that it is big good in Ukraine and that he wants to shoot a person. Niiiiiiiice. Thank you bio dad and the 'hood' of Zap.

There is SO much undoing to be done.