Proud and Not So Proud

Today I had a proud mommy moment when my son was sent to the principal's office. Shortly thereafter, I had a not so proud mommy moment when my other son was sent to the office.

This morning, as I dropped off BoyTwo at school, prepared to stay with him for the day, I received an email from the junior high regarding some 'problems' they were having with BoyOne. The school was not nearly as upset as I was. They are going through what the elementary school has been going through, feeling bad for him, this is so hard for him, he's been through so much...

I kid you not. I got to that school in no time flat. I talked with the school counselor and one of the teachers, who happened to be available. I also emailed the other teachers. I then pulled BoyOne out of class for a minute to talk to him. I didn't have to yell or get super mad, I just told him what we had been told by the school and followed by what our expectations for his behavior were. He said ok and I took him back to class.

I got back to the elementary just in time to hear BoyTwo swear at his teacher. She was escorting him to his seat for being disruptive during an activity and he was mad. I think he was pretty surprised when I showed up out of thin air to make him apologize. He's mostly stopped swearing at home, which is big because every other word was a curse in the beginning, but the swearing continues at school. I do not want him to think that he can get away with it just because he is away from our home. It's not okay anywhere!!

During lunch recess he punched a little girl in the stomach, out of nowhere. I made him apologize, again he was surprised to see me. But, that wasn't enough for me. I marched him into his teacher and told her what he had done and asked her what the consequence for violence at school was. She told me he had to go to the principal's office. I was ECSTATIC!!!!

It was fabulous. Our principal is a big guy and is very well liked by the students. He rarely has to be the bad guy, but because of the language barrier, he couldn't have a little chat about why hurting others is not okay. He brought BoyTwo in front of him and pantomimed punching someone and said no. Followed by, "no, no, no," while shaking his finger at him. BoyTwo was about as subdued as I've seen him for awhile. It was working!! Principal next sat BoyTwo in the corner of his office at a desk. The desk was not facing the corner, but facing the principal. Principal then gave BoyTwo a piece of paper to write the sentence "I will not hit people anymore." He filled five pages. I love it!!!

Do I think it cured him of hitting or punching? Probably not. But having that happen five more times will. We are on the road to a better school experience for all-I hope.

After I picked up BoyOne, I got a call from the Junior High about his visit to the principal's office. Sigh. This was the not so proud mommy moment. He knows better. One of his teachers changed the seating assignments in her class and moved him to the front, to better monitor him and his behavior. He would. not. move. Flat out refused to do work. She had no other option but to send him to the office.

So, tonight Huz and I had a talk with him. I guess he probably doesn't truly understand respect. The respect he is used to is won out of force or manipulation and its power is abused and flaunted. It's different here and I guess that will take some time. My husband told him if he was sent to the office again, that he would go to school with him and have him sit on his lap. The funny thing is that my good friend, Kim, suggested saying this to him and I thought surely Huz would think I was crazy with a capital c. I didn't even mention it to him though and he came up with it on his own. It was pretty funny.

The Junior High had talked about compromising with BoyOne to let him feel comfortable and to let him know they were willing to meet him halfway.

?!?!

Oh, yes. I told them that I 'highly advised otherwise,' and gave them a list of reasons why that was not okay. The number one reason being that he is not in charge, they are. We'll see how it goes tomorrow.

The great thing is that both school have been so good to work with. The district has promptly provided both kids with an English tutor for two hours a day for language instruction. The teachers and staff have all tried to make the boys feel welcome and work with us on any concerns we may have. We are so, so blessed to have that kind of support.

Anyhow, stay tuned. There may a story in here sometime soon about me going to Pre-Algebra and holding BoyOne on my lap...

**oh my goodness! I almost forgot to tell you about my favorite part of today. The principal didn't give BoyTwo five papers at a time. He gave him one and when that one was filled, he gave him another and another. When Principal handed him the third piece of paper, BoyTwo said, "Thank you." Now that, my friends, is something to be excited about!!!!!!!!!