Games

BoyTwo is king of games.  I get tired of his games.  I honestly can't figure out how HE isn't tired of his games.  I mean, they are truly exhausting for him.  He sleeps more than any kid I know (8 yr old, 12-14 hrs a day.  That's a ton.) and he needs it!  

Last night he refused to eat dinner.  We were having a family dinner at my sister's house. When dinner was ready I called the kids to come sit down and told them it was time to eat.  We all sat down and were eating and I noticed he hadn't even lifted his fork.  He was just sitting at his chair, sullen.  I said, 'BoyTwo, let's eat!'  As the rest of the family ate, he sat in his chair, refusing to touch his food.  He had this really hateful look on his face and was glaring at me.  His brother began to get upset with him and was grilling him,

'Are you hungry?'

him, 'Yes.'

'Is food gross?'

him, 'No, I like.'

'Are you sick?'

him, 'No, I feel good.'

'Are you full of food?'

him, 'No, I'm hungry.'

'Then EAT!!!!!'

I finally had to tell BoyOne to leave the table (he was done eating but wouldn't leave his brother's side) because BoyTwo was clearly enjoying having this power over his brother and it was driving BoyOne nuts.  After everyone finished eating and was eating dessert, he called into me (there were two tables set up and he was by himself in the other room at this point) that he had finished his food and wanted dessert now.  I went in to him and asked why he wouldn't eat his food earlier.  

'Because you tell me it is time to eat.'

me, incredulously, 'So, you wouldn't eat your food because I told you it was time to eat?!'

'yes.'

and then he laughed.

So he sat there the rest of the evening, no dessert.  This is what I'm talking about.  I had no idea he was playing a game.  Seriously.  Who doesn't eat when they're hungry, when the food is good, and you feel fine, just because someone says to you AND everyone else that it is time to eat?!?!  

That was a new game.  Sort of.  He likes to do the opposite of whatever I say, just because.  I think it's a control issue, but who knows.  Whatever the reason, it's absolutely ridiculous.  Had I known this was his focus of not eating last night, I would have simply removed his food.  Hindsight.  Lovely.

This morning the battle continued.  The battle that only he is fighting, that only he is aware of, that only he cares to fight.  It was time to eat breakfast and he still hadn't dressed.  This is one of his new (like 3 weeks) games.  He either truly cannot remember that every morning, school or no school, he is to get dressed, or he's being obstinate.  I can't decide.

He's comes downstairs in his pajamas.  I send him back up.  He comes down with his church socks on. That he pulled out of the hamper from yesterday.  I send him back up.  He comes down with his correct socks, wrong shoes.  I send him back up.  He comes down with his correct socks and his correct shoes. But he 'can't remember' how to put them on.  He's not just sitting there playing dumb.  He will actually sit there and fumble around like he's trying, but make no progress.  It's so odd.  Sometimes I call his bluff, depending on how many other people are being affected by his tactics.  Today we were all going to be late so I put his socks on his feet and his shoes and tied them for him, after watching him sit there for several minutes.  Then he started crying because I did it for him and he wanted to do it himself.

Next is breakfast.  I made pancakes.  I give him his pancake and put the butter and syrup in front of him and go to put my contacts in.  Five minutes later all the other kids are finished eating and I go into the kitchen and he is still sitting there looking at the same flipping pancake.  He hasn't started buttering it or anything.  As soon as he hears me, he grabs the butter and his knife like he is going to start now.  I tell him that I am so sorry but breakfast is over and it is time to brush his teeth and get in the car.  He is pissed and so am I.  He crawls up the stairs (to brush his teeth).  Five minutes later everyone is in the car except for him.

'BoyTwo we're leaving.'

He slooooowly walks down the stairs.

He forgets his backpack in the hall.  I call him back.  He doesn't get his coat.  I call him back.  He tells me he can't find his coat.  I tell him it's in his room.  He goes up to his room and comes back down without it.  I send him back up.  He calls down to me that he has found it.  I don't do it for him because he likes to have that happen, as a control issue.  Although he is definitely controlling right now, but I'm not caving and doing for him what he wants me to do.  It's so hard to explain.  It's such a joke.  I tell him to put it on and come down to get into the car.  He complies.  He gets into the car and I say to everyone, as we always do, because if I don't say it, he says that he didn't know and that we didn't tell him to,

'Seatbelts on!'

I hear four clicks.  He won't buckle.  I tell him to buckle.  He says he can't.  It's too hard.  He can't remember how.  His little sister buckles him.  

If you're not annoyed by now, then you're a saint.  Or you're lying to yourself in lala land.  Be real.

And that's only the first 45 minutes of the day, folks.  

Baby carseat is going back into the car.  That solves the car issue that has been a problem again for a few weeks.  I actually think he prefers the baby carseat?  I have no idea.  He acts out really badly and we put him in it for safety purposes and he says he hates it.  But then he behaves really well while we use it.  Then he 'earns back' the booster seat and does something else to get put back into the baby seat.  I don't even know if he knows why he does stuff.  

The worst part of all of this?  It could have been prevented if he had been taken care of as an infant, toddler and child and if his bio mom hadn't used alcohol while she was pregnant with him.  His life is this way due to no choice of his own.  That really ticks me off.