Another Week/Dyslexia

I was hoping to title this 'A New Week', but instead, it is simply another week. BoyTwo and I did a lot of talking and acting things out on Friday. We even had our translator come over and 'translate' just in case BoyTwo needed it in his native language. What we found out was about what we anticipated. He is losing his language. He understands a fair amount of what we say, but not all things. Unfortunately, sometimes it's the most important things he misses, thus the translator. Huz worked with him this weekend. We felt really positive about sending him back to school on Monday, as did the school.

Friday night was my nephew's first birthday. This kid is so cute! It was so fun to watch him attack his cake. My girls were so not interested in having their fingers dirty, so this was a fun sight to see. BoyOne especially likes little kids and is good buddies with my nephew.

The best part of this weekend was that my mom surprised us all and flew in from TN. It was super fun. She's pretty awesome. This summer she spent her time in a hospital trying not to die from complications with cancer. It was really hard to be on the other side of the world while that was going on. Somehow, during all of that, she managed to find time to make quilts for all eight of her grandchildren plus a great niece and great nephew. I can't even make my bed in the morning. How does she do it?!

Saturday was another party. My middle sister is having a baby!! We are pretty excited. My sisters and I threw her a shower. It was fun, but also a stark reminder for me that I am no longer in the phase of life where I can entertain. Instead, I'm lucky to just be able to get somewhere. It was great fun to be together and eat (non dairy free) food. (yes we were all sick after)

Saturday evening, my youngest sister came up our way to go skiing. It was her first time. We had a blast. The boys were super pumped to show off their tricks and the girls were having a great time racing straight down the mountain. I decided to be brave and try to use a wide rail. Probably not the best decision I've ever made. I totally bit it and have the bruising to show for it. Niiiiiiice. I hope that someday in the near future I will be able to kneel again. My sister did quite well and was far braver than I. We hope that she can make it back up here soon for another snow day!

Sunday was fine. BoyOne even spoke during one of our church meetings about how he is glad to be in America and that he likes (he called us by our first names instead of mom and dad, which was a little odd because he never does that), and that we take care of him. It was very sweet. I missed at least half of what he said though because he was talking quite rapidly. I tell you, it DOES help to speak slower to someone who speaks a different language!!

Monday was not fine. (that would be today)

I drive carpool for preschool Mondays and then go straight to the elementary to volunteer and be available ICBE (in case of BoyTwo emergency). Unfortunately as I was walking through the stinking door, I was met with a certain little boy being brought to the principal's office for kicking and hitting.

AREYOUFREAKINGKIDDINGMEDOYOUNOTHEARA_____THINGWESAY?!

I chose to not deal with him as I desperately needed time to collect myself and begin to think in trauma mama mode instead of pissed off Stephanie mode.

At 11, he was still in the office and we had come up with a game plan. The kid can't do recess. He was doing so, so great for a few weeks and has been quickly sliding backwards. He loves recess. LOVES IT!! But it is too big of a trigger for him. He simply cannot control himself. He is so incredibly impulsive that being with him will make your head spin. So back to private recesses we go. We do not necessarily make this punitive. We do tell him that because he is hurting people, he needs time to practice playing and time to learn to be safe. It is directly tied to his actions, however, and is hopefully putting him in a frame of mind that will allow some teaching to take place.

Then, it was lunch time. He ate in the office (this is part of the recess deal. being around so many kids is a trigger for him and is just plain not safe right now) and then went into the lunchroom to throw away his tray. The administration realized too late that they should not have allowed him to do this. I do not fault them at all. All the time I think that he should be able to handle doing simple little things, but then he surprises me and cannot. He enters the lunchroom to discard his tray and takes off outside to recess. The admin is hot on his tail. The recess teachers see him enter the playground and head over to him to round him up and escort him inside.

During this brief (seriously, what could it have been, two minutes???) span of time, he picks up a snowball, chucks it at some icicles. The icicles break and fall. He picks up the ice. (Now he's doing something else that is absolutely against policy and he is well aware of this, but again, lack of control and impulse) He throws said ice at the head of a girl who he thinks may someday say something mean about him. Well, thank you very much BoyTwo, now she has reason to say something mean about you. He hit her square on the forehead and she has a small cut and goose egg to prove it.

He has never spoken to this girl. He has likely never even noticed this girl. She is in a different grade than he. She was playing away from him with her friend. She had her back to him, until she felt snow and ice pelting her and turned to see what was happening.

After I dried my tears of frustration, exhaustion and whatever else is going on while locked in a stall in the girls bathroom, I took him home. Another frustration I have is that he completely lied about what had happened. Even though what he did was much less of an offense that what he said he did, he chose to stick with his crazy story. Even after I told him that I knew he was lying, he sheepishly laughed and said, 'I know lie' (translation: I don't know why I lie), and continued to dish out tale after tale.

And someone was buying it!! This did not help. At all. This kid is King Manipulation. If there is one thing he mastered during his time in Ukraine, it was how to manipulate people into getting them to do what he wants them to do, think what he wants them to think, and how to get himself out of situations.

After several LONG conversations, I think we have a plan for tomorrow, but it is one that I'm not sure will continue after that.

PART 2

Does anyone know anything about dyslexia? I highly suspect one of my daughters is dyslexic and the school is suspicious. They have told me that they can test her to qualify her for special ed type of assistance, but that they can't diagnose. I also was not super thrilled with what they have said they would provide help with. I believe it should encompass more than just help with language arts, as reading is an integral part of math, science, etc. But I'll fight that battle when I have to. In the mean time, the school cannot/will not 'diagnose' her. Which is fine. They should not have to. They are not medical professionals, they have to be really careful what they say/do. I called my pediatrician. They do not diagnose dyslexia either. They referred me back to the school.

Who diagnoses dyslexia??? Nobody seems to know. There has got to be someone! This is not just something that you say you might have your whole life. 'I'm pretty sure I'm dyslexic,' or 'I might have dyslexia.' It just bothers me, probably more than it should, that nobody wants to find out if this is really what is going on! Sure, the school will do testing with her and make an official referral for special ed, but based on what?! That she needs help because something might be wrong with how she processes things?! Good heavens. Think about it. If somebody told you your kid might have cancer, let's start the chemo and radiation, wouldn't you like to know what's going on for sure?

And now, it's time for me to try to go to bed. My ranting is getting me all riled up again.