That's what my clock says right now. p.m.
Not bad for a Tuesday night. The last child finally went up to bed. I have been helping kids with homework since 4. We did take an hour and a half break for a basketball game. Two and Three are on a co-ed team together, which by the way, BoyOne thought was hilarious. Not them playing together, but the whole idea of co-ed. He had never heard of such a thing. I convinced him it was cool. Sort of. Because he only sort of believes that I know what is cool. haha.
Six hours of homework is why my house is trashed, my laundry piled to the sky, dinner happening at (gulp) 8 (did I just admit that?!), two loads of dishes needing to be done, etc. You get the idea.
I don't really feel like our specific schools are giving too much homework. It is just taking certain kids absurd amounts of time to do said homework. So, maybe that means it is too much homework. Why did saying that make me almost cry? I think a large part of that reaction is due to feeling so sad that they have to struggle so, so hard for things that so many others don't even have to think about. Sheesh. Back to the topic. If I were to give this homework to different children in my house, it would all be done in an hour. I feel like I can't give up or say I won't do it, because I don't want them to fall any further behind than they already are. I want to help them. I keep telling myself that at some point, it will click and they'll get it. Most of the time I believe myself, too. My cousin used to nanny for a stay at home mom who had four kids. At the time, I thought this was the most ridiculous thing I had ever heard. Then I had Two and she was a holy terror. I needed a nanny just with two kids! And if I thought I needed a nanny then, well, I certainly need one now:) Or a chef or housekeeper or tutor. You get the picture.
I think you need to speak up and tell someone it is TOO MUCH.
ReplyDeleteAnd, look at it - is it valuable, or does it just make kids tired and frustrated. Children also learn from being with their parents, and being instructed in cleaning, cooking, organizing, etc.... To say nothing about having DISCUSSIONS about values and life's meaning - topics rarely part of the curriculum.
Then look at how the school day is spent. We had one of those mammoth, miserable homework nights one time, and my daughter let it slip that they'd spent the school day a) watching some Disney cartoon movie, and having a "jump rope" presentation - not that those things are BAD - but it was all FLIPPED. It is mom and dad that should be able to have the fun with kids - the teachers are trained to teach academics!
When my children were in Montessori school, they worked during the day on academics - intensely - and then gave the students time to regroup and exprience other things that life has to offer!
Would it make you feel any better if I told you I fed my children fried eggs and cinnamon toast at 7:30 last night for dinner? My husband travels frequently for work which leaves me home with the kids on my own a lot. So, yeah. Laundry doesn't always get done, dinner usually is late and not even a real meal and my sink is usually full of dirty dishes because I haven't had time to empty the clean ones out of the dishwasher. YOU ARE DOING A FANTASTIC JOB!!!!!!!! I have three kids and can barely keep up. How in the world do you do it??? As for homework, my 9 y/o son has a terrible time and always has. My 7 y/o is a champ with it and her homework is more than the 9 y/o. My 16 y/o is pretty good, but needs 100% of my attention for projects & studying for tests. And Annie's comment a/b the school day not being a/b academics all the time is right on the money. For the last two school days my 16 y/o has been watching "The Help" in...wait for it...her Food & Nutrition class. They will finish watching the movie today.
ReplyDeleteYep, You are doing too much and expecting too much from yourself. Not only are you going to the school to help in case of crisis but you are basically doing a full session of home school at night. I would tell the teachers that you can dedicate 1 hour of help each night and that is it. Do they have the kids in ESL or any other supplementary classes at school? They can't really be up to grade level for about 2-3 years so don't stress if they get low grades. They have to get the language and learn to read before they can be expected to be at a first grade level and so be happy if they are understanding anything at all. Maybe they could get an aide at the school to help with homework during recess so they don't bring home so much. I agree with Susan and Annie, if your kids go to school, school is for academics and home is for family. P.S. Having the laundry done is overrated.
ReplyDeleteSounds like our house. :)
ReplyDeleteyou guys make me feel so much better. I'm glad to hear that your houses aren't perfect. Seems like all my neighbors houses are always immaculate. I feel like the crazy lady on the street. Also, thanks so much for the advice. Annie, the assembly life and 'fun' activities drive me crazy. I am all for creative learning, as long as learning is taking place. I also think assemblies are fun, as long as they aren't every week. When I home schooled my daughter last year (and granted, she is super smart and motivated) we did an entire weeks worth of curriculum in two hours, three days a week. Susan, watching the movie "The Help" for food and nutrition??? I loved the book and the movie, but that's a bit of a stretch. I guess they do cook several times during the show... I'm so amazed by how motivated your daughter is. That alone will save her in life so many times over. Super awesome. I hope we reach that someday. Christy, the kids are in ESL to help them with English and the older one gets some help from his ESL teacher for a little bit of school work, but all of their aides are a) retired ladies needing extra income, b) recess guards who are hired on to help at the school. All these women love the boys, truly and for the most part work really well with them. Their time is even one on one as we live in such a small community our boys are the ONLY ESL or ELL students. I'm not so concerned with them doing well and understanding and being educated right now. Their homework is super easy. The older one does have to do math and I make him do English because it teaches him how to think, but seriously, my dyslexic first grader could do his English homework. Both of the boys 'homework' is or should be so easy! Actually, it shouldn't even be homework. It's stuff they are supposed to do during the day that they refuse to do. Which is part of why I make them do it. I don't want them thinking they can just hang out all day at school, not do any work and then be able to come home and not have any responsibility for it. So, I think I will speak to the school about my daughter who has 'suspected' dyslexia and ask for her homework to be reduced, but with the boys? I don't know!! They are just plain lazy!!
ReplyDeleteThere is only one way to explain life at our house these days...MAD CHAOS. Somedays these three darling boys nearly kill me. I am exhausted and the house is sketchy most of the time. Throw in a 20 hour a week job, soccer, guitar lessons, church, scouts, school, student council, and everything else, well, sometimes I just want to hide in my walk-in closet. Sometimes I have to overlook all that and remind myself that these children are my greatest joy. And for the dinner part, well last night we had boiled eggs and blueberry muffins. Yummy :0
ReplyDeleteOh Steph. I want to cry with you.
ReplyDeleteI don't know how you do it. I at least have the day to myself (unless my seniorites infected son has convinced me to let him stay home because let's face it, there isn't anything academic he'd be missing) to catch up on laundry, dishes and...sleep!
This parenting of older children is never addressed in parenting books. All the running around, over the top projects, church stuff, scout stuff, student government stuff, sport practices and games, dance classes, babysitting jobs, and the list goes on....
Add to that, language learners that nod at the right time and you swear they're getting it only to repeat the same bad behavior the next day because truly, they don't get it. They're just good at faking it. It's exhausting! And more emotionally exhausting then anything.
I agree with the above, you need to just say enough is enough. If the boys are lazy - then let them pay the consequences. Set up consequences. No study? No fun. No work at school? House work at home. It's not your job to go back through school. (I always tell my kids, "Hey, I already went to school. It's your turn!" ) I agree that they shouldn't get away with not getting their work done but you shouldn't be punished because of it. Make them do the dishes and laundry. Tell them that they had better learn these skills as without school they'll grow up to be a janitor or maid so if they don't want to learn academically , they'll have to learn some sort of skill for their future? Right?
Oh, good luck my dear. Please take care of yourself.