I've Heard It Said

"... one step forward, two steps back..."

I think we may be on that plan with BoyTwo. Or possibly a one step forward, five steps back. I'm feeling a bit better about BoyOne at the moment. His English is coming along great and he has been speaking to me for five whole days now! I think it's a record. Which probably means it is about to come to a screeching halt. Oh well...

School has been, shall we say, rough for BoyTwo. And even more rough for the poor souls who are attempting to reign him in and educate him. This morning I dropped him off at 8:45 (remember, he can't ride the bus. I'm fine with this as I don't want to be responsible for whatever he may do while on the bus...), drove Four and her carpool to school which starts at 9:30, drove back home where I walked into the house to a ringing phone.

It was BoyTwo's teacher. He had been at school for 1 hour and 20 minutes. She was calling me to come pick him up. It was that bad. And I know she is not a wimp. She is patient with him, calm demeanor... Anyhow, she told me that 'it might be best to call it a day.' I was already planning to be at the school, as I have been every day since he started school. I usually do work for other teachers, or PTO stuff and then they call me down if they need me. Today I was hoping to shower before I headed to the school though, and that is why I was at home. So nix the shower and jump into the car in a mad dash to save BoyTwo's teacher.

Let me tell you about what he did during his hour and twenty minutes at school:

yelling

hitting

pushing

kicking

running out of the classroom and hiding in the bathroom locking the door behind him

covering his ears with his hands and saying 'lalalalala'

crude. very crude.

running around the classroom

extremely disrespectful toward the teacher and his personal aide

The aide takes him out of the classroom for English language instruction for four half hour sessions a day. Because we have only ever managed to make it half of a day, she is only instructing him for two of those times. One in the morning and one after lunch. This lady is the mother of twelve. She is such a nice, kind, caring woman.

Both his regular teacher and the aide were DONE. And I don't blame them a bit. BoyTwo sees me and runs up to me, arms outstretched, smile on his face, saying, "Mami! Mami!"

Because you see, he's got this one figured out. If he is naughty, he gets to go home. I'm trying to tell the school this, but I also recognize that he is not the only child in his class. After a quick hug (I don't want to not hug him because I don't want him to think I'm rejecting him...), we set in for a talking to after which he apologizes to both teachers. The other kids are at recess. I make him sit by the window and watch them play for a five minute time out. I was more inclined to make him miss the whole recess, but the teacher told me that her rule with the other kids who misbehave is for them to miss five minutes. He should have just missed the whole thing, because that's about what happened anyway and it would have prevented the infractions from happening.

After his time out, I allowed him to go into recess, with me CLOSELY watching. He does really well.

For about four seconds. Then he pushes a little girl off the jungle gym. After an apology, he stands against the wall, a recess time out. Knowing that he really needs to release some energy, I have him sit another five minutes. At this point there are five minutes left of their recess. I allow him to go play. Why am I so daft?! Seriously. He walked right up to a girl and pushed her. Back to the wall where he started swearing at me, which got him into more trouble.

Another 'talking to.' It sounds a lot like this:

"Nyet! Nyet! Nyet skzheetya ploho. Nyet (pantomime pushing). Nyet (pantomime kicking). BoyTwo gavareesh horosho. Nyet ploho. BoyTwo horosho. Skazheetya, 'sorry mom,' 'sorry teacher1', 'sorry teacher2,' 'sorry kids that I randomly attack.'

I went to lunch with him, as I do every. single. day. It is kind of fun though. I get to eat with Two and Three at the same time. Three and BoyTwo are in the same class with Two in the grade right above them, so their lunches are basically at the same time. On Tuesdays and Thursdays I also have Four with me. It's like a family reunion.

Lunch recess. In the five minutes that he was 'playing' he took his shirt off, kicked a girl in the crotch, and pushed another boy. So much for lunch recess. I am starting to realize just how lacking his ability to socialize is. I think I will have to help him have recess. hmmm.

I accompanied him to his afternoon session with his aide where I made him do what she had planned for him (interactive and tactile), much to his dismay. He's used to flashing the lights on and off and running around. He also has been known to run out of the classroom, then, when the teacher comes out to get him, he runs back in and locks the teacher out. He is Stitch.

Of course, when he comes home early, we continue 'school' and he is not allowed to sit on his butt and watch t.v. or play games. It's frustrating because he is doing so much better at home and I know it's because we absolutely DO NOT let him get away with anything. It's a difficult situation that I would love to hear suggestions on, if you have any. I worry that if I accompany him to class each day, he will never respect his teacher as the authority figure. (that and I might go nutso:)) I also worry about being an overbearing parent. But, I know that I can make him do what he is supposed to do. I also strongly feel that no teacher who has 25 other kids in her class should have to take care of this little guy on her own. It isn't fair to her or the other students. If you are thinking he needs 'sensory breaks,' I beg to differ. Between the recesses and breaks that he has with his aide before they start to study, he is getting them. Two has SPD so I feel confident in saying that his sensory needs are being met. I told the teachers that I would LOVE for him to be sent to the office four times a day. The kid needs consequences. He's that wild mustang that needs to be corralled so that he can calm down, begin to know what to expect, and then feel safe. Saying it and doing it are two different things though.

Ideas? Suggestions? Anyone?

Thanks:)

p.s. I'm doing great. I really feel like I'm in a good place right now. I'm trying to get more sleep and I'm not feeling crazed or at my wits end, and that's a good thing! Just wanting to be very open and honest because I am open for ideas from any of you old pros out there who have been there, done that, so I want you to know what is going on...

p.p.s. I feel so very blessed. When it's late at night and my eyes are filled with sand and my body feels heavy, when I've started the third load of laundry for the day, the second load of dishes, and am smelling my dog's stinky farts, as I make my way to my bed, I am overcome with gratitude as I step over six pairs of shoes, numerous toys and other random objects scattered wildly about the house. Most days I don't see a mess, but an evidence that these spirited children live in this very house, with me and I wouldn't have it any other way. I am so grateful for each one of my children and the blessing it is to be their mom. It's all good.