The Lady

This morning I received a phone call telling me that I needed to be ready in one hour to go to the vital records office to meet with the lady who started this whole mess. Less than interested in meeting this woman who is causing us so much grief, time and money, I didn't even understand why she needed to see me. Evidently it was a self serving visit on her part.

She was certain that I was an American idiot, along only for the ride with the end goal of mine to be able to have children. I removed my sunglasses and stared her straight in the eyes the whole time she is 'explaining' to me why this is not her fault, but our judge's fault.

Guys, I promise I tried to keep my mouth shut. I tried really really hard. When she said it was our judge's fault, it pushed me a little too far. I have to back up and tell you that she is filing a legal complaint on our judge basically, to cover her sorry butt. Fortunately our judge is the head judge of his jurisdiction and is quite capable of handling himself (hence the unbuttoned shirt??) and is not concerned with her feeble attempt to cover her blunder. However, when she said to me that I should be upset with our judge and not with her, I couldn't help it.

"I didn't realize that a judge in Volnyansk was responsible for filing your paperwork."

I thought maybe Yelena would be upset with me for saying anything so I tried really hard again to shut up, but then Yelena said to me to ask questions. I wasn't sure what she wanted me to say. I was pretty sure she knew that I would be very straight forward and I was under the impression that this was not a good idea, that we were trying to 'play nice.'

Yelena encouraged me again, to ask the woman questions saying that she knew I had some. I told Yelena it would be best for me to not comment at this time. She said it WOULD be best. So, I said perhaps I would go have my name changed to Victor and come back to her office and say that I was BoyTwo's father and maybe this woman would create another new birth certificate for him. She said she could not do that. Holy crap. That she even answered that ticked me off. Like she didn't catch the sarcasm. (Yana did and so did Yelena, though. I even saw Yana smile a little) Yelena told me to keep asking questions, so, with that, I said to this woman that I don't have any relevant questions for her. The judicial system in America is the one I am familiar with and that according to our laws, this birth certificate is bogus. I do not have any questions for her because our laws are different from Ukrainian laws and do not allow for this kind of nonsense to take place.

And do you know what she said to me????????

"You should be grateful that this boy has a loving father who wants to take care of him."

Yeah. That didn't fly too well with me. After that, I was not at all worried about playing nice. How dare she say to me that this evil, wicked man cares about his child. How dare she suggest this.

"Because a man walks in and says he is some child's father and wants a birth certificate made, this makes him a loving person? This loving father you speak of, are you aware that he (and I listed several of the terrible, horrible, abhorrent things he had done)?"

She asks how I know this, and not in a tone that suggests she really wants to know but in an accusing tone.

"Well, first of all, the court records and documents that I have seen, include the police reports of multiple abuse and neglect cases. Had he been listed on the birth certificate his rights would have been removed as well." I then proceeded to list things that I had witnessed during my time here, along with voicing concerns that caretakers and neighbors have concerning this man.

She asks if I have really seen these documents, more than surprised that I am not the 'ignorant American' she pegged me for.

"I have seen them with my own eyes and read them."

She is visibly shocked that I have had access to and been made aware of these documents. She weakly suggests that maybe the father is trying now.

"You really believe that a man so wicked that he (I again list several more of his actions), is trying to be a 'father'? Yeah, I know he is not trying to be a good father."

She tries to explain to me the legal process of Ukraine and the removal of the rights of the parents among other things. I interrupt her and explain these things for her, demonstrating that I have done my homework and am not blindly here, just trying to pick up a couple of random cute kids.

She says that she did not know I knew these things and that she did not know all of these things about the father. Duh. Maybe she should have done her homework.

As we leave the office she says, 'I guess we will let the courts decide this fate.'

I turned back around and said, 'I forgot to mention that he also (and I listed yet one more final, uncomprehensible atrocity), too, and that the courts had already tried to decide the fate of these boys by granting us custody and that unfortunately because of this bogus document their lives were now in jeopardy.

So now there are four people on my list of people I do not like. By the way, she suddenly 'found' the paperwork showing that she had forwarded it to the proper authorities (i.e. hurried and filled it out last night).

And that was my exciting morning.