Day 8 of 'The Wait'

And I thought I was bored in Zap. This picture says it all. I spent the afternoon at the camp with the boys and their friends and Yana. I don't even know where to start. The person who runs the camp is way too into the whole power thing and I can't stand her. There are very few people that I dislike (seriously, there are only three of them) and she is one of them. I have nothing else to say about her. Because, if you can't say something nice, then you shouldn't say anything at all. She. is. awfulcrazypowerhungrymeanspiritedbad. (okay I couldn't help it)

It was so hard to be there. We arrived at 1:30 and decided we would stay until 5:30. We kept checking the time. It began to be a bit of a joke. We'd think that it had been, easily, another painfully slow hour, but then, when we checked the time, literally only fifteen or twenty minutes would have passed. No wonder these kids all smoke and drink. It is no wonder! I have no doubt that the people responsible for these children, who drive them to mentally, emotionally and physically be so broken that they never even have a chance of survival, will rot. in. hell. And these are the people who are supposed to be taking care of them because their parents did not/could not.

When we arrived we had to 'check in' and the director wouldn't see us, she was 'busy.' Which means, we approached her and evidently, that does not allow her the power she craves. So, we were required to wait for her to decide she could 'see us.' I have little tolerance for people this extreme. The caregivers and teachers, I usually make excuses for and try to understand how difficult their job must be. Even the parents whose decisions landed their sweet, innocent children here, I try to understand and love. Not this woman. Not one little bit.

The bathrooms are deplorable. The food-just remembering it just now made me dry heave. I am not at all exaggerating either. The smell alone was enough to make me dry heave there and I am not the type that usually gags and dry heaves. Unless it's a booger. I can handle quite a bit. There are bugs in the food, there is not clean water to even drink. And I'm not talking the contaminated water they usually drink at the internat (orphanage), because up until now I considered that water bad. Not only is the water at the camp contaminated, it is dirty. All of the kids have lost weight. They were all thin before, now they are skin and bones.

The children are at 'summer camp.' It seems like a lovely idea. Send them to a camp for 6 weeks by the sea. Not. even. close. The kids are not allowed to play. They are not allowed to kick a soccer ball, throw a frisbee, run, play cards, play anything, or make hardly any noise. Some of the youth leaders are truly good and fortunately our boys are in a cabin with good leaders. These girls allow the kids to play with a ball, or frisbee, and laugh and be kids, but I saw other youth leaders there who were just as bad as the director. With all that they do not allow, it absolutely infuriates me that they DO allow the kids to smoke and drink.

I was unaware of how little the kids were permitted to do and brought with me a soccer ball and frisbee. Of course, within minutes we had lots of kids around us and I was feeding them all and talking to them all and playing with them all. And then, like a wildfire, word that the director was on her way spread and the children fled. She took away a ball from them and yelled at them for playing. She yelled at Yana and me for playing with them and for allowing them to be loud (honestly, I thought they were so subdued, the word loud never even entered my thoughts). She wanted to take away the frisbee and ball that I brought, but I took it from the kids before she could get to them so that she would have had to have taken them away from me.

After she had left, the kids slowly came out again and we started playing again, much more cautiously this time. I couldn't wait to leave. When it was time to leave, I didn't want to leave. I couldn't imagine leaving even one of them there. The thought that they have to stay there, that they have to go back next year, that they have to live in an institution, that only 1% of these kids will ever even be able to find a job , that only 10% will survie past the age of thirty is overwhelming.

Victoria, this picture is for you. Masha says to tell you hello. She is so sweet and looked so pretty. The rest of the pictures have captions underneath them and most were taken by the kids (except this one of Masha).

I used to wonder why they didn't ever smile. Now I wonder how in the world they can.

It is so sweet and heart breaking at the same time watching these young girls take care of each other and the other little girls. They do their hair, take care of them if they are hurt, all things that they should be learning to do, not doing because no one else will. All the kids do this. The older boys take care of the younger kids to. Not all the older kids are nice like this, but many of them are.

BoyTwo with his friend Slavic. They are blowing bubbles. Somehow, BoyTwo made it into the cabin with BoyOne and all the older kids. Thank you to his brother for making that happen, and to their youth leaders for allowing it.

Good group of kids. Really good.

These two are so funny. They stayed with us the whole time (except for the short time everyone went into hiding). Renee, the one in the gray says hello to you and Myck.

The girl in the red shirt is one of the good youth leaders, the girl in pink is Dasha and she says to tell Nan's Ashley hi. I had a picture of her alone, but it got erased. She hung out with us at Matviivka on the previous trip. I like her. The next girl is the boys' other youth leader who is good. I know it looks like I'm randomly giving BoyTwo bunny ears, but if you look really closely, you'll see he was giving me bunny ears, too. (I'm not sure what's up with the bunny teeth I'm doing...) And, then, the beautiful Yana.

The two amazing, remarkable youth leaders planning a program for their kids. They are great.

Look!! It's Olga, the soccer coach. I was so, so happy to see her! She is a truly good person. I was so glad that she was one of the caregivers there right now. The caregivers take turns staying at the camp. Two of them go for ten days and then two new ones come. Thank heavens that these kids have Olga there right now. It is truly amazing that there are good people to take care of these kids. It is so completely emotionally draining. For anyone to have a position to work with these kids and to be a positive influence to them is amazing. And to do it for forty years is nothing short of a miracle.

The outside of the cabin. The sleeping quarters were decent. The kids and youth leaders take care of that.

The inside of one of the bunk rooms. I can't think of very many people back home that would be willing to sit on one of these beds, let alone sleep on one. I am so impressed with the care they give to what little personal space they have. Can you imagine the only personal space you have being a cot in a room shared with nine other people, in a cabin with thirty other people? Or an orphanage with 250+ other people??

The picture doesn't do it justice. It is much worse in real life.

Same thing with the toilets. It made the camping outhouses in the U.S. seem fabulous. Imagine what was all over the ground.

After we left the camp I asked Yana to take me to the sea. I decided that I must go there. I knew that I would never have the chance again. It was a five minute walk from the camp. This is one of the many beautiful flower gardens we passed on the way. These gardens are in the front 'yards' of all the houses in the cities I have been in. They are beautiful.

This was my first view of the Sea of Azov. Yeah, it was awesome.

This is where we changed our clothes. Most people just change right there on the beach. I saw this on the beach in Zap, too.

The sea is warm, kind of like the gulf. The sand was really pale colored and very fine. One thing that I was really surprised by was that swim suit tops are optional for girls until you have definitely hit puberty. If you have only started to develop, you still don't need a top. I must have look like a nun with my modest swim suit. Seriously, even the elderly wear string bikinis (at least they had a top on!!).

It is hard to tell, but this is a picture of sea shells. Millions of itty bitty shells cover the beach. They don't have big machines that rake the sand each night and that is the only reason I can think of for there being so many millions of shells. The beach is lined with these shells. They are piled everywhere. It was very cool.

Looking down the beach the other direction.

This is one of the more unique things I have seen. I don't live by an ocean or sea, so maybe these are common? I've never seen one on the lake we live by. Anyhow, it is a giant beach ball that is hollow in the middle. There is an opening, where the lady is holding on. You put your kids in there to haul them around. I thought it was a pretty handy little thing until she let go of it and sat on the beach. I couldn't stop watching it. I kept waiting for the waves to carry it out, but they never did. It stayed pretty close to the shore. Keep in mind that there are little children in here the whole time.

The sunflowers were in bloom. I wish I had a nice camera so that I could've taken some good pictures of these amazing fields! It was so awesome to see! Anyhow, I know it's not a great picture, but it gives you the general idea. Miles and miles and miles of bright, happy, yellow.

This is a bus stop. It is made of tiny little tiles. I think they are so cool. Because Zap is such a large city, the bus stop I waited at was not like this. It was more like a traditional bus station. Sort of.

Again, with the right camera, you could see how beautiful this is. Instead, just kind of squint your eyes at it and you'll get the idea. It was amazing.

Another sunflower field. It is seriously one of the coolest things I have ever seen.