Hard to Sleep

I'm having a hard time sleeping. This is usually NOT a problem. It definitely is not because I am not tired. My mind races. It's like a great big Nascar race inside my head.

When I pray before I go to bed I pray for BoyOne and BoyTwo. And good grief. I can think of soooooooo many things to pray for concerning them. Where do you even start?! I pray for their health, that they will stay warm, that they will be able to learn, that they will remember happiness, the list goes on and on. I imagine it might be like a prayer a mother of a missionary would offer. The kids are in this strange land, I can't get to them or talk to them. Who knows if they are even getting my letters. You start to think of all the little itty bitty things.

The other night I had a weird momentary dream that there was a fire. I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep. After checking on my girls, I lay in bed thinking of all the injustices in the world and trying to determine what, if anything, I could possibly do. I talked to my cousin the other night. I told her about a program I know of that helps kids phasing out of foster care here in the US and about another program that helps kids who "graduate" from an orphanage. I told her maybe that's what they need in Ukraine. We both said I have 3 years to figure it out. Three years because that is when BoyOne will "graduate."

Then, when I tried to sleep, I thought to myself "what about the other kids that "graduate" before then?"

And then I stayed awake for a really long time and prayed some more.