but do they want us?

SAC hosted a wonderful activity at the Bean Museum in Provo on Monday. However, due to the less than enthusiastic response we had from our boys for Sunday's outing, we opted not to attend. Their desire to stay home, coupled with the 2 hour drive we would have had to make, made that an easy decision.

We started the day by all of us sleeping in. Ahhh. After we woke up, I took the girlies to school. During the day I tried to help BoyTwo learn to ride a bike. BoyOne and I played ping pong. Actually that's a bit of an exaggeration. We hit the ball back and forth a few times. I am not good. He is. After a while he told me he was going to play with Chaperone. We also played pool. Billiards as they call them. It makes it sound so fancy.

While Chaperone and BoyOne were playing pool, I asked how BoyOne had learned all these games. I knew it wasn't from orphanage life. Chaperone and he had a conversation and then Chaperone clued me in after. BoyOne had a family until about 4 years ago. This I already knew but it made me sad to hear him talk about it. I found out about his mother and father and how he ended up in the orphanage.

Later that night I found a game on the computer for BoyOne to play. Then, Huz, BoyOne, and I played a Dominoes game. It was a good time.

In the beginning, when we first decided to host, I knew that in Ukraine the children got to decide if they wanted to be adopted. The decision is theirs. This is fair. I had even thought to myself that it wouldn't be surprising for some of these kids to not want to be adopted. I mean, think about it. They have friends that have become their family, they don't have anyone looking after them. In some cases their mother or father are still living and they may hope someday for a reconciliation. Most of the kids probably realize that life here would be better, but life here would also be very different. That's probably scary. The answer seems obvious to us, but what seems obvious to a teenager. And half the time whatever they think is so obvious is not quite right. You know?

So, after only two days with these sweet boys I am now wondering if they want us. We are a house full of primarily girls. I, like most moms, have expectations, rules and requirements for living at my home. We understand that rules provide for freedom and opportunity, but most teenagers don't. Not even the ones born and raised in a good family in the US. I heard Chaperone yesterday trying to explain to BoyOne about this. He told him that if there were no rules, the world would be broken. How do you convince someone of that? It reminds me of trying to explain to someone that the standards our church has set for its members aren't suffocating at all, but freeing. You either believe it or you don't. Sigh. For a couple hours I felt like I needed to try to sell myself. Try to get these boys to really love us and our lifestyle so that they would want to be with our family. Then I realized that all I can do is offer what we are. The rest is up to them. If it's meant to be, everything will fall into place. If not, we are better from having them in our lives and hopefully they will remember that someone cares about them. Even though we're really far away. I hope that in this short time with them I can help them understand that they are great. They can achieve great things. There are possibilities. There is hope. There are good people in the world who do good things. Not all families are the same. Family is good. And above all, life is good.